Understanding & Managing Overwhelm (Part 1 of 3)
Have you ever tried talking yourself out of being overwhelmed? It doesn’t work. It’s a little bit more complicated than that.
Why I Am Here
If you have been following my articles since I started writing at the beginning of March, then you’ll know that the feeling of overwhelm is a common theme that I refer to. Whether I’m feeling it or talking about it, it inevitably comes up somewhere along the line.
Suffice to say, I do know that I struggle with it extensively. Some days are good, and others are bad. I understand that this is a part of life, but I’ve started to try and stop using that as an excuse whenever the emotion envelopes me. That’s the funny thing about labels. As soon as we label something, we separate ourselves from it. We can now say that we have this thing (that we’ve named) which we can say is no longer a part of ‘us’ since it is now this ‘thing’. Where this presents a problem — in my experience — is that if that thing is important for us to understand and come to terms with, and we now don’t believe that thing is a part of us, we can get used to ignoring it or not doing anything about it. This plays a larger role than we realise when it comes to emotions. Especially strong ones, or ones that we really battle with.
This is what happened to me when I started talking about my constant feeling of overwhelm. I got used to talking about it as if it was this external thing I had no control over, and not actually doing anything about it. I’m tired of doing that. And so this series is my first public step in trying to deal with this feeling of overwhelm, for two reasons:
- Being public about it keeps me accountable to my progress; and
- If I’m feeling it, then no doubt people like you feeling it, and if I can share even a little of what helps me, maybe I can help you.
So, in accordance with this, this article is the first of a three-part series I am writing to better understand what overwhelm is, and to better prepare myself for combatting it. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. I have a problem, and I’m going to do my best to resolve it.
I’d like to start by saying the majority of the research I did for this series was from a LinkedIn Learning course, already backed up by sound research, which I followed up with relevant research of my own where I felt it was necessary. If you’d like to watch the course in question, you can find it here; otherwise, I hope I do a good job of distilling this information for you into a more readable format.
Understanding Overwhelm
Everyone feels overwhelmed. It’s natural when there’s always so much you can and could be doing. This is especially true in today’s age where access to information and opportunities are more at our fingertips (literally) than ever before in human history. And these opportunities are often exciting. Even just the thought of them can get your heart racing and your brain moving in creative directions. The downside of this, though, is that overwhelm is triggered when you start thinking about not having enough time to do them all. Even just the thought of this lack of time, whether truthful in nature or not, is enough to be a trigger.
While overwhelm can be, well, overwhelming, sometimes there isn’t much that you can do to change course when you’re deep in it. This is why it’s often best to do something when the feelings first start arising. Breaking the loop, so to speak, and to start heading in another mental and emotional direction earlier on.
It’s important to note, however, that if you’ve been experiencing overwhelm for a considerable amount of time, like a few weeks or even months, then you might be dealing with something like anxiety, depression or burnout. If this is the case, then a simple pivot might not be enough. I would suggest reaching out to get more professional help if this is the case. There is no shame in getting professional help. You do yourself a disservice if you continue to perpetuate a problem — that will eventually break you — if you have the opportunity to do something about it as early as you can.
Our brains are usually geared for problem-solving. But overwhelm is something that creates a mental block and our creativity, as well as other cognitive processes, get hijacked for a period of time. And when they get hijacked, we don’t know what to do. Now we have a problem (the overwhelm) that we don’t know what to do about. It can also turn off our sensitivity to those around us, and our ability to reach out and ask for help suffers.
The Overwhelm Effect
There are usually three things at play when it comes to dealing with overwhelm:
- Demand
- Capacity
- Perception
The demand is the thing that we actually need to be doing at that moment; or the series of things that we need to do after a given moment. Our capacity is our ability to actually get those things done. Our perception, though, is where the really interesting stuff happens. Our perception is whether or not we believe we have the resources and capacity to achieve the demands. It’s kinda like a pyramid of sorts. Based on our perceptions of the situation, we can have two separate stress responses.
We can have a good stress response, which releases a surge of adrenaline resulting in a boost of energy, and we have the drive to complete the task because we feel confident about it. Alternatively, we can have a bad response, which releases a surge of cortisol, a compound that — when released in amounts not natural in the human body — can wear down the brain’s ability to function properly.
As we effectively manage stress, we build our capacity and, therefore, our perception of confidence in the given situation. This is an ongoing practice, and with enough successful results we can break down the mental barriers we have for certain tasks and circumstances.
Processing Information
The funny thing is that once you’ve cleared the fog, you usually know exactly what you need to do to get unstuck. The solution was there the entire time, you just didn’t have the ability to see it.
Often, what we don’t realise is that the brain processes energy and information along a certain hierarchy, like a pyramid, with the bottom being the most important and first level of input and reaction:
- Sensory information
- Feelings and connection
- Logic and problem-solving
Sensory information is how we’re breathing; it’s how our body is feeling as a result of the information we’re currently processing. This also includes non-conscious environmental cues that our conscious brain doesn’t always notice at first. Feelings and connection refer to our emotional state and the connections that we have with the people around us or the person more specifically involved in the given situation. And logic and problem-solving, is the rational part of our brains; our thinking-oriented processes.
Think, for a moment, about those first two levels, and how they can influence the third. Physical tension and discomfort (often one of the first things to happen when we begin to feel overwhelmed — creating a negative feedback loop) often lead to unclear thoughts and feelings, and ideas of how to solve a problem. Ever tried listening or giving someone advice when you can’t stop thinking about a pain in your neck? The same thing happens when there’s tension or uncertainty with the people around you or the person you’re trying to solve a problem with. These things can make it really difficult to think clearly and effectively, let alone objectively.
Have you ever tried talking yourself out of being overwhelmed? It doesn’t work. Unless you’re one of the rare few breeds of people who can talk themselves out of anything, in which I say kudos to you, you can stop reading now. For the rest of us, it’s a little bit more complicated than that.
This first part of my series is about trying to understand overwhelm, and what usually leads to it. In my next part, I’m going to talk about how we can disrupt that pattern and break the loop, so to speak.
